One month on: Revisiting our New Year’s resolutions

By Richard Peters

I’m convinced this is a universal thing – or at least I hope it’s not just me: In the first few weeks of a new year, I’m aware of a subtle ache. After the joy of Christmas celebrations with family and the comforting blur of the festive season, January’s return to normal cadences can feel abrupt. The quiet mornings, the work emails, the early evening darkness — all of it reminds us that our recent holiday happiness isn’t the permanent state we wish it were but, rather, a fleeting moment we must learn to contextualise within ordinary life.

I’m also certain that many of us will have earnestly committed to one or more New Year’s resolutions, with the aim of changing habits for the better – but then we get that sinking feeling, take a psychological stumble, when those resolutions clash with reality. It all seemed so achievable when we were buoyed by festive good cheer; now I’ve already eaten that extra bar of chocolate / sipped on that midweek glass of wine / missed that visit to the gym (but it was snowing, honestly, it wasn’t my fault!). Psychologists call this the “abstinence violation effect”, and it’s what makes us see a lapse not as a temporary setback but as a sign of personal failure. That can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, and in turn, to our abandoning the whole project altogether. Bye-bye, resolutions!

But it doesn’t have to be that way! Today I’m feeling good about things. We’re now in early February, and there’s a faint but undeniable pulse of optimism in the air. This is partly just a physiological response to the fact that the days are growing longer again and the chill outside isn’t quite so bitter. It’s the opposite of the winter blues – a natural recovery of spirits as our exposure to light lengthens and temperatures gently rise. Winter turning into spring is a slow, nearly invisible process; something worth bearing in mind as we work to make a changed routine stick. Remember: Patience is a virtue and Rome wasn’t built in a day! It’s in that middle stretch, between announcing a new behaviour and its becoming an unquestioned part of daily life, where good intentions will either wither or flourish.

Breaking an old pattern — whether it’s skipping exercise, scrolling too long, or defaulting to self-doubt — rarely fails for lack of desire. It fails because old habits feel like home. They’re familiar, easy, soothing. Creating new ones requires not just effort but discomfort: I’m forcing myself to do something I know I’m not going to like in the short term because my sensible side knows it’s for the best in the long term.

What can I do to give me and my resolutions a fighting chance? When we’re trying to bring about deeply personal change, the key to success is to embrace the fact that we are social creatures. Sharing our goals with friends or family is a brilliant move, because it ensures that other people are invested in seeing us attain those goals. It’s like having a gym buddy: While it’s all too easy for us individually to succumb to the temptation of just staying home, the realisation that to do so would be to let our buddy down serves to strengthen our resolve and get us and our sports bag out the door. And if, in a moment of weakness, you slip up and give in to a temptation you were trying to shake off, then admitting your misstep to someone – rather than just silently throwing in the towel – is a good way to help yourself get back on the right path.

So, if resolutions feel wobbly one month on, that’s not failure — it’s the natural arc of adjustment. The return to normality, the tug of old habits, the longing for sunshine and warmth — they’re all part of life’s slow dance through the seasons. Spring will come; so will steadiness. For now, it’s enough to keep nudging ourselves forward, one sensible step at a time.