An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welsh woman walk into a Brexit…this is no joke

By Colin Rae

I never thought it would happen. But on 29 March, the unthinkable will happen: Britain will leave the EU. As you can tell, I’m not a Brexiteer. I’ve spent the past 16 years living and working in Germany and while I have no plans to return to the UK, I’m profoundly saddened by the state my country has got itself into. This is one of those cases where I couldn’t give a damn what the people think. On something as complex as the EU, with all the intricacy and nuances of funding and trade relationships, you cannot expect the electorate to make an informed choice. Even the best political analysts, economists and legislative experts cannot say for sure what will happen now. All I know for sure is that 29 March will be a sad day in European history.

Brexit walks into a bar and the barman says, “why the long farce?”

Unable to reverse the most idiotic political decision in living memory, my fellow expats and I set about doing the only thing we could do. Richard, one of our managing directors, is half English, half Austrian. His way of securing his EU rights post Brexit was to get an Austrian passport – fairly straightforward and not all that drastic. My colleague Jess, originally from Wales and who at the time Article 50 was triggered had British and Canadian citizenship, needed to go a step further and “become” German. This involved renouncing her Canadian citizenship, sitting German language and citizenship tests and providing the authorities with endless paperwork so her application could be processed. Earlier this year she did indeed “become” German.

Don’t mention the war

For my part, I also decided to apply for German citizenship in addition to staying British. Luckily for me, I had double the required period of residency, a German language qualification from a German institution (even Master’s degrees in German from non-German universities don’t count) and a full-time job. I got married here, started a family, have always paid my taxes and have never broken any laws. If they don’t let me in, they won’t let anyone in.

Although it was the logical choice, it did take me a while to get my head around the psychological implications of becoming a national of another country. What would it mean to suddenly be German? Am I then automatically less British? How will it feel to play a more active role in how my adoptive country is run than the country of my birth? I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to be proud to be German, that it will be the last part of my integration. It won’t make me less British in any real way; I’m gaining not losing. And given the shift happening in this country, I’m happy that when I cast my ballot, I will be shaping my own future in a country that values my opinion.