Halloween jokes and pizza coffins

By all the members of the Klein Wolf Peters team
Translated by Gerfried Ambrosch

 

1. Kristin, for you as an American, Halloween has certainly always been a major event, hasn’t it?

Kristin: For me it was just a normal part of the year. In school you would decorate your classroom with things like paper pumpkins, bats, black cats, spiders, etc. There might be a Halloween party on a school day close to Halloween, and students could wear their costumes to school.

When I was younger, Mischief Night was still talked about as a Thing, but I don’t think it ever happened in my neighborhood. It involved teenagers going around egging doors or draping toilet paper over people’s bushes and trees.

Then, the big night: October 31st—time for trick or treating! Put on your costume, grab your plastic pumpkin or pillowcase, and head out. When I was younger I went around our neighborhood with my parents, and when I was older, I was allowed to go unsupervised with a group of kids. Then, back home at the end of the night, time to dump out your pumpkin/pillowcase and see what you got. Mostly small “fun-sized” candy like Hershey bars, 3 Musketeers, Reese’s, Mounds, Twizzlers, Tootsie Pops, Swedish Fish, Pixie Stix…the list goes on! You might get a bag of popcorn or a small cheap toy. If you were with friends or siblings, there was always some trading and haggling, too.

 

2. The rest of the team is a mix of Germans, Brits, and Austrians. Do you celebrate Halloween? And if so, how?

Maria: I don’t care for Halloween or any other scary traditions; whether they’re pagan, superstitious, or religious in nature, or whether they serve to banish evil spirits or as an outlet to cope with the horror of mortality—none of it speaks to me. But there seems to be a pervasive human need to be occasionally allowed to dress up, play tricks with impunity, and shake down the neighbors. It’s not for me, though—but I’ll happily eat pumpkin soup, preferably made from the Hokkaido and not the muscat variety.

Colin: When I was growing up in Scotland, we didn’t go trick-or-treating, we went “guising”. The main difference is that we made our lanterns not out of pumpkins, but out of turnips. Whenever I’m back in my hometown at this time of year, everything from the quality of the light and the mist to the smell and colours of the trees and bushes takes me right back to Halloween when I was wee. The only part of celebrating Halloween I do now is carving jack-o’-lanterns – pumpkin, not turnip! – with my sons.

Chrissie: We didn’t celebrate Halloween at all; for me it was only ever something that happened in the U.S. This year, however, my four-year-old son has shown interest for the first time in the huge pumpkins that are for sale everywhere. Maybe I’ll indulge him and carve a jack-o’-lantern with him!

Solveig: I’m afraid Halloween isn’t on my radar, so there’s never anything in the house to give away. Still, the doorbell rings every half an hour on Halloween night, which is annoying. Some of the kids don’t even wear costumes anymore. Last year, a dad went door-to-door with his kids and insisted on treats for them. Fortunately, my own children aren’t yet old enough for Halloween, but sooner or later that day will come. Scary.

Gerfried: Growing up in Austria, Halloween just wasn’t a thing. Later on, when I became involved in the underground music scene, it was American punk groups like The Misfits and AFI that put that tradition on the map for me.

Julia: During my childhood, Halloween wasn’t yet a thing where I grew up. But during carnival season, we’d go from house to house dressed as “Maschgerle”—so we wore costumes, but nothing scary. Today, I’m still somewhat of a stranger to Halloween. But as a consequence of having friends with children, I do occasionally attend Halloween parties featuring vampire teeth, fake blood on the carpet, and too much candy (see question 4).

Richard: I’ve never actually celebrated Halloween. But I do like a good pumpkin soup.

Ronald: A long time ago, when we used to live in the city, my children got excited about Halloween—much to the horror of my father. O tempora, o mores! Does nobody remember Reformation Day anymore? Not at the age of seven or eight. The thought only made me shrug, which sums up my attitude toward Halloween. I’m lucky if I can work out who the carolers who come around on Three Kings Day are.

 

3. What would be a suitable recipe to make for Halloween?

Gerfried: Pumpkin soup with pumpkin seed oil would be the obvious choice for me.

Solveig: I once made a three-course meal where every dish had pumpkin in it. The first course was a salad with fried, sesame-crusted pumpkin wedges; the main course had pumpkin purée on the side; and for dessert, we had a pumpkin tart.

Colin: An essential part of the assortment of Halloween goodies in my house was “tablet”, an incredibly sweet, crumbly confection made with sugar, condensed milk, and butter.

Chrissie: This year I discovered spaghetti squash! I cut it in half and bake it with the cut side facing down (rub some olive oil on it first) for 40 minutes at 180 °C. When it’s done, you can use a fork to scrape out the insides, which look like spaghetti. To the strands I add spinach, salt, and pepper, put it all back into the squash halves, sprinkle with feta, and pop them back in the oven until the cheese has melted. I think some children will find the spinach quite scary, actually!

Julia: Not so much a dish as a treat: I really like “Hirnis”—fruit gums shaped like a human brain with a sour, fruity strawberry filling. Or pizza “coffins” with a “bloody” tomato filling.

Richard: How about pumpkin soup…with some nice crusty bread and a generous splash of the finest Carinthian pumpkin seed oil! Guys, where can I get some pumpkin soup around here?

 

4. Does anyone have a scary story to share?

Kristin: I wish I knew some by heart I could tell around a campfire! I like reading Victorian ghost stories, but they’re too long to share here.

Colin: It’s not really a story, but the street I grew up on had an abandoned house known universally among us kids as the “haunted house”. It had a ghostly white, Venus-de-Milo-type statue in the back garden and people used to say it moved. Even though I’m now grown up and the house is occupied and handsome, I confess that I still get a slight chill whenever I walk past it.

Solveig: Unfortunately, my pumpkin tart didn’t turn out so great; in fact, the guests found it so horrific that it’s become a running joke.

Richard: I was at a dinner party once and we ran out of pumpkin soup, but like WAY before everyone had had their third helping! It was traumatic.

 

5. What scary movie or horror film is a must-see on Halloween Night?

Gerfried: I don’t know about a movie, but I recommend AFI’s All Hallow’s EP, which features a cover version of The Misfits’ “Halloween”: “Brown-leafed vertigo / Where skeletal life is known /
I remember Halloween.”

Richard: I know a film I DON’T want to see on Halloween Night: a home video of an empty pumpkin soup bowl!

 

6. Let’s end on a humorous note. Do you know any Halloween jokes?

Kristin: This one’s a classic!
Q: Why did the skeleton stay home from the party?
A: Because he had nobody to go with! (no body)

Colin: Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.

Ronald: On their way home from a Halloween party, two friends take a shortcut through the cemetery. Sauntering through the graves, they suddenly hear an eerie noise: “tap, tap, tap”—again and again. Fearfully, they follow the noise, which leads them to an old man who appears to be doing something to the inscription on a tombstone with a hammer and chisel. With some relief, they go up to him: “Man, you almost scared us to death! We thought you were a ghost. What are you doing here in the cemetery at night?” Annoyed, the old man replies, “Can you believe it? They misspelled my name!”